Heart of Grace Read online

  Two hours later, Amber comes back home completely elated, a newly enrolled summer school student for Dr. Harvey’s Intro to Business course.

  ***

  “Where are we going?” Heather asks when they get into Amber’s Jeep after Dianne corners the two of them ‘for a chat’ which was really codeword for ‘Let me embarrass Heather more than I already have’.

  “It’s a surprise.”

  “But what’s the surprise that I couldn’t moped my way there?”

  Amber rolls her eyes. “It’ll take until tomorrow to get there if you rode your moped. Besides, for a person with your sense of adventure, you’re asking one too many questions.”

  “All right, all right.”

  She grabs hold of Heather’s hand and settle it on her lap. She smiles when Heather lets her as she’s nodding along to the music. She can feel this date is going to turn into a good one.

  After about an hour drive, Heather sits up from her seat when they see a sign from the highway.

  “Are we going where I think we’re going?” Amber shrugs, but she can’t keep the grin off of her lips. “You’re such a crappy liar.”

  “There’s an exhibition game they’re holding. I thought I’d surprise you,” Amber comments as she alternates her sights on the road and on Heather who’s got the widest smile on her face. “Plus I decided to sign up for a business course at the community college. And I thought I could celebrate that with you.”

  Heather grabs hold of Amber’s hand. “Wow, that’s amazing, Ambs. Good for you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I’m so excited for you and this game!”

  After parking and getting some snacks, they make their way to their seats and people watch as they wait for the game to start.

  “This is amazing, Ambs. I’d have to say that after all the traveling I’ve done, I’ve never been to a league game. This is my first.”

  “Your soccer game cherry?” Amber jokes. Heather rolls her eyes before playfully hitting her on the thigh. “Well, I’m glad you like it.”

  “No, this is great. I don’t know how legal stuff works with schools, but I’m sure the girls would love to go to one of these, you know? If not this year, maybe next year we could take the girls to a game. They’d love that. Especially Cassidy. Did I tell you that she apparently has a sister who’s getting married to a professional player?” Heather asks taking in her surroundings while Amber watches her do so.

  “No, you didn’t.”

  “Well, I just know she’d love to watch one of these games with the rest of the girls. Don’t you think?”

  “I think they’d love it.”

  Amber doesn’t know if Heather realizes what she’s said because of her excitement, but Amber can’t help how much faster her heart beats when she hears Heather talk about the future like this.

  ***

  Heather feels nothing but pride when the Hammerheads celebrate their second win of the season during their away game against Watergate. She can see in their eyes that there’s something special there, that they’re not just some pathetic group who deserves to lose. It only dampens their spirits somewhat when they lose to Lillyfield Middle School in a 2-0 match. But they have one more game before the end of the regular season and she knows that they want nothing more than to finish the season strong. It’s when she looks at Lara leading the girls in a speech after their loss that she just knows makes the coach teary eyed, she remembers her decision to take on the job.

  And seeing them like this, fighting spirit intact, makes her feel on top of the world - the difference she’s always wanted to make in her life.

  ***

  “I didn’t realize I’d be the bisexual fifth wheel to this lesbian couple troupe,” Janine gripes as she stirs her drink with her straw. She has a point, Heather thinks, when she looks around their table and finds Charlene and Lisa across from her and Amber while Janine sits at the head of the table.

  “Your Prince or Princess Charming will come someday,” Lisa offers, patting Janine on the back.

  “Don’t worry, I invited Sarah to join us so we’d even out,” Heather says. “And she should be here any minute since I told her 9.”

  After a couple more minutes chatting and teasing Janine, Heather beckons for Sarah when she catches sight of her by the doorway. Sarah’s walking towards their table with a smile on her face but quickly halts. Heather furrows her brows in confusion before waving at Sarah again.

  “Uh, hi, everyone,” Sarah mumbles awkwardly waving to the women at the table.

  “Come have a seat,” Charlene says patting the empty chair at the other head of the table.

  Sarah does as she’s told and slowly settles in conversation, albeit awkwardly. It’s not how she knows her co-worker to be so she wants to find out what’s going on.

  After about ten minutes of slightly tilted conversation, Sarah is quick to offer to get everyone a round of drinks before rushing to the bar.

  Heather turns when Amber taps her on the shoulder. “Is something going on with Sarah?”

  She shrugs. “Beats me. She was fine when I talked to her at work earlier.” The pair of them keep their eyes on Sarah’s moves when she returns and hands out the drinks. She passes each beverage save for one that she asks Amber to pass to Janine.

  “If you could just-if you could just pass this,” she explains when she gestures to Janine without looking at her. Heather wonders about Sarah’s strange behavior but eventually puts it to rest when they start discussing bikes and mopeds.

  About an hour or so later, they call it a night and their group slowly disperses. Charlene and Lisa are the first to leave, Charlene helping Lisa to her feet. Sarah tags along with them and excuses an early morning tomorrow for her quick departure leaving Heather, Amber, and Janine.

  “That was pretty fun,” Janine mentions as she takes over Charlene’s seat across from the pair of them. “Although I wonder if Sarah knows Charlene and Lisa are pretty much married because, uh, she was all up on that.”

  Heather laughs. “Yeah, that was kind of weird. She’s usually not like that. She tells the same jokes I do.”

  “Should’ve asked her to go on a date with me instead,” Amber comments even as she drapes an arm over Heather’s chair, her hand softly rubbing one corner of her back.

  “That’s like fifty shades of rude,” she comments with mock indignation as she shrugs Amber’s hand off of her. Amber pulls her back by the arm and attempts to kiss her but she just turns her head away at the last minute.

  “Oh, that’s gross. You two are actually really disgusting right now and I won’t stand or sit for this kind of cruel and unusual punishment for me. Some of us don’t get as lucky in finding people to love like you two do.”

  “That’s because you keep flirting with straight or married women,” Amber says with a laugh. She laughs along but it rings hollow, Janine’s words suddenly hitting her square in the chest. Amber ushers Janine out of her seat and up on her feet as she follows behind them her brain in a daze.

  Amber takes her to the side and kisses her goodnight, tells her to drive safely home. She goes through the motions and kisses back, waves at them as they drive out of the parking lot, Amber giving Janine a ride home.

  She drives back home and barely misses their driveway because all she could think about was Janine’s words echoing in her mind.

  Some of us don’t get as lucky...finding people to love...love...love…

  Does she love Amber?

  ***

  It’s the first day that Una is out of town for a week and a half and Amber already feels like a trip down to the animal shelter to visit Barnie is going to be necessary to get through it. She wants to make Una proud, to show that it’d been a good idea to promote her and to give her this task. It doesn’t change the fact that there are so many things that she has to do on a given day that she doesn’t want to mess any of it. Or at least not mess up enough that it could seriously ruin any aspect of the Bean.

  Th
is is a test. She’s not going to fail.

  Amber drives up to the back lot of the Bean and finds a car already parked there. Barnie’s already there reading a book from her Kindle. Her co-worker smiles at her when she approaches the driver side window with her heart beating just a little bit faster than normal. It’s only the first morning and she’s afraid she’d done something wrong.

  Barnie just shakes her head and reassures her that everything’s fine and that her presence there is merely a favor for Una to help Amber in case she needs it. Reassured that she doesn’t have anything to worry about, Amber sets off in opening the store like she’s done for the better part of the last couple of months.

  Amber greets Sarah when the other woman hauls their order into the Bean.

  “Good morning,” Sarah says with a smile. She greets in turn, helping Sarah out with the trays while Barnie’s in the back prepping everything else.

  “It was good to see you the other night for drinks. Definitely come out more often with us.”

  Sarah ducks her head, scratching the back of her neck. “Thanks but I probably shouldn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I just feel like I made a fool out of myself.”

  Amber places a reassuring hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “We just thought maybe something was off with you, you know? But one off night shouldn’t stop you from hanging out with friends.”

  “Right. Yeah. It was just an off night,” Sarah says, as if more to herself than to Amber. “I had fun, though. Honest.”

  “Good, so did we.”

  The two of them exchange goodbyes and Amber returns to her serious work mode after that short break joining Barnie to get the coffee started and the glass display stocked.

  She has a Brown Bean to run.

  ***

  It’s only the third day that Una’s gone and Amber has not been tired since she pulled a couple of all nighters in college. The pressure and stress of checking to make sure that everyone has what they need has definitely added to her expectations of herself and Una’s expectations of her. She’s ready to go to bed but the thought of missing dinner with Heather keeps her awake long enough.

  There’s a bright smile on her face as she looks out her patio and sees Heather pulls up in the parking lot on her moped carrying Chinese takeout. She’s out of her door and onto the breezeway by the time Heather is taking the steps up to her apartment.

  “You’re a sight for sore eyes,” she says giving Heather a small peck on the lips.

  “You literally saw me this morning when I rode with Sarah to send your deliveries.”

  “It’s been a long day, what can I say?” The two head towards her kitchen to unwrap their dinner. They settle at the dining table and talk about how their days turned out. Dinner’s a quiet affair, filling their time and spaces with each other’s company. She thinks maybe this is one of those surprise perks of dating someone who doesn’t own a cell phone. She doesn’t get to find out about Heather’s day until they get together and it all feels new to her. She thinks that maybe even if or when Heather does succumb to getting a phone, they can still share their time like this, with each other’s undivided attention.

  But Amber is cautious about that thought knowing how dangerous it is to wrap herself in the possibilities of tomorrow with someone like Heather.

  They move to the living room to watch some television with Amber’s legs resting on Heather’s lap as Heather casually drums on her thigh with one hand. Meanwhile her other hand gets sandwiched between Amber’s hands as they rest on her abdomen.

  During the commercials, Amber is already thinking about when Una comes back relinquishing her from overseeing the Bean. She considers maybe taking a day trip with Heather or even inviting their friends to go to the beach. The idea excites her and gives her something more positive to look forward to. Plus, it would come at such a good time since not long after that she’ll be getting ready to start summer school.

  “Heather?” she asks, gently tugging at Heather’s hand pressed between her own hands.

  “Mm?”

  “Do you have plans for next weekend?”

  “Which weekend?”

  “Two weekends from now, not this weekend but the one after.”

  Heather’s laughter reverberates from underneath her. “I have no clue. You know that.”

  “Well let’s make some!”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know,” she responds, sitting up. “After Una gets back from her conference thing I have some free time before my summer class starts.”

  “Well, wherever we’re gonna be is your call. I can’t take you to as many places as you can take me.” Amber tilts her head and looks on curiously. Heather shrugs. “My moped is barely a two-seater.”

  “But you’re the wanderlust. You’ve traveled just about everywhere. Where’s a good place to go?”

  “Wherever the wind blows. You know I don’t make plans.”

  Amber taps her chin in thought. “We could always figure out if there is ever a reason to go to North Dakota?” she jokes. Heather playfully pinches her thigh. “I know, let’s go somewhere warmer like the Bahamas. Or somewhere cool the girls will want to pester you about during practice. Like somewhere in South America.”

  Heather stills her fingers drumming on her thigh and stiffens in her seat. “That’s not exactly practical. I mean, the flight to any of those places would take you a whole day.”

  “Maybe we can just settle for this side of the Pacific Ocean for now. and dream big for Hawaii next time. Oregon is still pretty good in the summer.”

  Heather doesn’t meet her eyes and instead untangles herself from Amber, pushing herself off the couch and picking her cup from the coffee table on the way. “Yeah, maybe.”

  Amber watches Heather retreat into the kitchen. She hears Heather pour herself some water from the tap but doesn’t hear Heather come back.

  “Hey,” she says when she walks in the kitchen and finds Heather standing by the sink taking a sip of her water. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Cool as a cucumber.”

  “Really? Because you just got up and walked away.”

  “I got thirsty.” Heather steps back when Amber takes a step towards her.

  “What are you doing?”

  “What?”

  Amber raises a brow. “What do you mean what? You’re acting funny and you haven’t looked me in the eye since you walked in here. Was it something I said?”

  Heather shakes her head, placing her cup on the counter. “No. It’s just-you know, maybe you shouldn’t plan too far ahead. Something might come up.” Amber doesn’t miss Heather distinguishing the ‘you’ from the ‘we’ she’s been using.

  “What?”

  “Forget it.” Amber presses the issue but Heather just deflects it wishing for a change of topic. “Let’s just go back to watching t.v. Come on.”

  “No. I just wanna know why you’re being so cryptic.”

  “Just forget it. It’s not a big deal.” Heather attempts to grab for her arm but she yanks it away.

  “Heather!”

  Heather sighs, running her hand over her mouth. “Fine. But you’re not gonna like it.”

  “I’m not exactly loving this conversation right now.” Heather chews her bottom lip and looks away.

  “I, uh, I got offered a job at this youth camp I used to work for. In Maui.”

  Amber’s heart feels like it’s dangling in the air on a thin thread and Heather’s words feel like a tsunami. She’d said it herself, right? Heather’s a wanderlust. People who hit the ground running don’t stop for anything or anybody.

  “Since when?”

  “I don’t know. A couple of weeks ago? I haven’t opened it since then.”

  “Are you going to take it?” Heather just shrugs again.

  “I don’t know yet.”

  Amber opens her eyes. “Ok.”

  "Ok? What does that-what does that mean?”

  “It
means thanks for dinner but I’m tired and need to be by myself for a while.”

  “Are not going to talk about this?”

  “That’s rich considering you didn’t decide to tell me until now! I’m tired so if you can just go, that’d be great.”

  Heather breathes hard through her nose. She puts her cup in the sink and makes her way to the front door. Amber hears the soft click of the door and she wonders how a quiet dinner together could turn into the worst news Amber has heard in a long time.

  ***

  Her morning goes as sour as her mood. It’s a miracle she even gets through it after spilling three orders within the span of morning rush and getting the line out the door.

  She practically speeds through downtown to get to the animal shelter needing to comfort herself from the otherwise shitty morning she’s had.

  Amber knows the root of her frustration but she feels worse knowing she’s the one who ultimately caused it. All she can do now is seek solace from being surrounded by puppies and having them love her unconditionally even for an hour.

  Just as she’s playing fetch with two of the puppies, the doors open and in comes Sarah with tired expression on her face that transforms into unadulterated joy when she sees the puppies.

  “Sarah!”

  “Amber! What are you doing here?”

  “Free therapy. You?” Sarah sighs, an answer in and of itself, as she takes the spot a dog has vacated beside Amber. “Rough day, huh?”

  “Yeah, something like that.”

  The two women let their focus drift to the puppies vying for their attention, giggling when one of them tries to bite Amber’s knee.

  “I’ll tell you about my bad day if you tell me yours,” Sarah says after a few minutes. Amber takes a look at her friend for a couple of seconds before extending a hand welcoming the impromptu commiseration party.

  “Deal.”

  True to her word, Sarah opens up about how distracted she’d been all day because she couldn’t get the face of that woman, from all those weeks ago, out of her mind. She almost didn’t break for a family of ducks crossing the street. She’s just haunted by freckles and bright smiles. It’s only made worse that she’s now seeing this woman practically everywhere. She’s concerned she’s going crazy because she knows very little about this person save for the fact that she apparently runs in similar circles that Sarah does.